i'm not as much of a wanker as it seems.

i remain me. any writing i do is under this tag, and like all the rest of the personal entries, there are some friends-locked and some open. i am as old as my birthday on my profile says, serially unemployed (but this seems to be changing recently) and studying journalism at university. it seems to be going alright so far. i also like words! sometimes.

i don't take myself seriously and you shouldn't either

my lj title is there for a reason. i promise it's sort of true

for a quick summary of my interest jiggies, see below.

oh my fuck

so on the way in tonight, me and katy sat in a four-seater (2x2) on the train. there was one other person, an old guy who just sat around reading the paper. we were our usual ebullient selves, and he actually chimed in at one point, which i tried not to find fucking hilarious (and failed, since he was talking about that belgian guy who was conscious in a coma for 23 years and suggested that at least he hadn't been buried alive)

then i got to taco bill's and partook in beers and a fishbowl margarita with the people who know who they are and, i shit you not, a dutch cameron diaz. JFC.

train home - guess who comes down the elevator, notices me, and goes "oh you're still here?"

fucking amazing!

we started chatting (on the platform and on the train) and holy shit, coolest 70-year-old i have ever met. he's american - from california - but moved out here in 1982 (to cockatoo, out in the country). talking about how back in the 80s he used to go by the phrase "if you can't beat them, buy them" - he'd bribe all the young gangs in his area because he had the first colour set in the neighbourhood and they'd come and sit around watching tv with popcorn and he wouldn't have to deal with their shit.

apparently once he went outside to find a "pot garden" that he wasn't aware had been planted, and it had been one of the kids. he had a talk with the kid. every so often the kid visits vic (because he's working in wa) and drops 'round and repairs shit that needs to be repaired.

he got a sapphire earring when he went back to the states seven years ago, but he's scared of needles so he had to have one of his sister's friends hold his hand while it went in.

he's seen bowie seven times.

he saw tina turner a while ago, and apparently his friend "is a leg man", so he didn't get to use the binoculars all night.

he has a, and i quote, "bitching sound system" in his car that he shelled out 8400 for. two subbies in the back of his two-door 1995 lancer, two speakers under the seats, can't be powered with a regular battery because it dies so quickly.

once saw ac/dc under duress, and came out a massive fan because they put on a hell of a show.

really didn't like the opera he saw tonight, because he couldn't feel anything for the three main characters.

watched cats once when it came out, then four times on video, and the fifth time he went "oh wow, that's a cute kitten" and finally liked it.

saw lady macbeth, but it was "bluer than blue" - "if they weren't fuckin' they were jackin' off"

agreed when i said he was a dirty old man

HERE'S TO YOU, TRAIN GUY, YOU MADE THIS NIGHT KICK A LOT OF ASS

also on the train:

i think his name was bert? he wanted someone to open his salami packet, except he could only communicate this by gesturing the packet at people because his speech skills were clearly not at a fully-mentally-able level, and finally someone picked up on the idea and opened it for him so he could have a salada sandwich with his salami. then he got off the train. good man.

these two drunk kids (i think one was still in his highschool uniform, which was fucking gold) trying to talk about communism and anarchism with a 22-year-old guy who had at least twelve piercings above his neck. two on each eyebrow, both snakebites, labret, three down his nose, both nostrils, like a fucking 30mm spacer in both his ears, and about three on the top of each ear. jfc he was metallic and a half

all i'm saying is, goddamn funny night

and damned if stories have to have a point, either

( It wasn't getting better. He felt the same. )

still alive

post-uni, life is at its typical standstill, which is why there's nothing to report

made goals! (barely!) 201 situps, 100 pushups. then i collapsed. still a few weeks away from 5km, although i did manage 4.2km in 25 minutes, so i'm pretty happy with that. did approximately zero exercise last week, so it was a nice surprise to see i hadn't stalled or anything, but really need to make sure i don't fall off completely

i... um. what else is there

i don't know

We see this all the time. Journalists, rushing to get a story out under deadline pressure, will report, based on preliminary information, that a ship sank, and 127 people, many of them elderly, perished. Then, upon further investigation, it turns out that nobody, in fact, perished, although one elderly person was slightly injured by a set of dentures hurled by another elderly person in an effort to get the first elderly person to stop talking so loud. Then it turns out that this happened at a nursing home, as opposed to a ship, although the elderly people were watching a video of Titanic at the time, and although there were only four of them, as opposed to 127, the nursing home is located on Route 124, which is only three less than 127, which is not that much of an error when you consider the deadline pressure that journalists operate under.

- Dave Barry

life continues


it is spring! the shadecloths have been strung up. one of these statements depends on the other one, guess which is which


uni is almost over! hooray. i have three assignments left - one is done, one is going to be a red bull-fuelled all-night writing session, and the other one... i'm procrastinating on pre-emptively. ugh. it's a research proposal, and i want it do die and never bother me.


in terms of health, i'm feeling... i guess better? it's hard for me to tell the difference, because i'm terrible at knowing what i'm like now relative to what i used to be like - in any situation, i mean, not just general wellbeing. when i'm sick i don't remember what it was like to be well, when i'm well i don't remember what it's like to be sick, etc. i don't know. it just doesn't seem to be something i pick up on that well. but like, right now, i'm feeling pretty good. sometimes i feel like i'm not getting enough sleep, but that's got to do with length of time spent sleeping and not the quality, so that's not a big deal. i'm taking vitamins so i don't miss out on anything, drinking juice, quit smoking for five weeks now, having proper lunches at least four or five days a week...

i still drink and eat takeaway, of course. i'm not going for pristine or anything. but i am finding that my tastes are sort of shifting? still really enjoy kfc, and the choices aren't necessarily healthier, so don't go thinking they're improving. but like, i prefer to eat burgers from burger joints/fish and chip shops and not mcdonald's, getting a real taste for noodles/chinese takeaway in general... keep finding myself with weird cravings for muesli, too. which is strange.

progress report, end of week four, with three weeks to go until my birthday (zero --> after two weeks --> now):

11 --> 50 --> 102 consecutive situps
25 --> 43 --> 61 consecutive pushups

i am definitely fitter - today i did d1w5 of c25km, which is 5 minutes of jogging (=850 metres), then 3 minutes of walking (=350 metres), &5&3&5. i know this isn't really much, especially considering the walking periods in between, but the weekend before i started this, i ran 100m for a train with mates and couldn't speak for 30 seconds because i was panting too hard (took me a lot longer to fully catch my breath, but i really felt like talking). so i know i'm improving.


i'm single again. this may come as news to some of you, possibly because you didn't know i wasn't single, but there you are. beginning to very strongly suspect i'm just really averse to being locked in to anything right now? i don't know. i really like katy and there's honestly no reason for me to not want to be with her other than... yeah. i think i'm just worried that while i'm committed to something with someone, i'll miss out on an opportunity with someone else? which i understand is going to be true for the rest of my life, and is true no matter what i do or whether i'm with someone or not, but right now i just want to have the freedom, i guess. ugh. idfk. watch my change my tune the next time someone offers me a shot


still unemployed~ i mean, apart from the tutoring and writing for youthcentral. tutoring will end over summer, so i'll need to find something else for that, but hopefully i can take on three or four kids next year and really increase the money coming in that way.


i honestly don't have anything interesting to say, which is going to come as a disappointment if you've read this far, but... yes

i don't know if any of you haven't seen this - it's been around for a while and you're all pretty clued-in cats and kittens. but the song came up on my itunes just before and i was like, gotta share this. so if you haven't, you absolutely must!



(related: ziggy-era bowie, ashes to ashes-era bowie.)

http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=ASP-COWBOMB&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - love the bomb
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QC-DECISIONS&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - bad decisions
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=RB-BANDIT&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - raptor bandit
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=WN-APEKING&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - ape king on a mastodon
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=LG-IPRETEND&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - i pretend to work
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-SUMMERVACATIONSHIRT&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - t-rex's summer vacation
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=LG-SOFTROOPER&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - stormtrooper

this is a list for my own personal reference. and i'm sharing it with you. i am a sharing man

that being said, if anyone feels like buying me a birthday present, go right ahead, okay. i'm a medium. ...i think. ...i'm sure as hell not a large, let's just leave it at that

(i already own this, this and this)

( good good day today )

also, why did obama get the nobel peace prize?

also also, fuck i love scrat from ice age

it's no longer september. that's how we do


for those of you who don't have me on facebook, i think this photo sums up my world pretty well right about now. except i have pants on in that, so i don't know, use your imaginations a little.


day number... *count* four of waking up before 9 and exercising. do i feel healthier? not really. do i feel productive and better about myself for trying? yes! am i so impatient that i'll probably quit by the end of november because i'm not seeing enough improvement? almost certainly. my current plan is to keep reminding myself that if i don't keep up with it now, by this point next year (coming up on my 21st) i am going to be doing the same shit again, and i'll be like "why didn't that arsehole 19-year-old me keep exercising? lazy fuck".

i mean hell, it's what i'm like about 18-year-old me, and 17-year-old me. i used to actually work out! and now i can do a maximum of 25 pushups consecutively! goddamnit, past self


i am on a real "think about the future" kick right now, i think spurred by the fact that i have officially settled into this youthcentral gig. it is like $30 for a review and $50 for an article, and there's probably a maximum of 2 published a month, so it's not really the best gig moneywise - but it's my shit, published online, on a government website. that's got to look good on the resume, right. so there's thinking about having things published and making contacts for a proper career down the road, starting exercising now so i don't have to start later, jobhunting off my ass to see if i can save for travelling in like 2012, and... well that's about it. it's not like i have much of a futurem you know.

(for the record, i was one of 28 picked out of over 130 people for the youthcentral thing. i don't know if i really feel all that flattered about this, considering they needed to lecture us on how to use commas and apostrophes, but what are you going to do. english is a dying language)


i honestly started this post to say something completely different, but i have no idea what it was


what's going on? i don't know. i'm pretty happy with how life is right now tbh. i do sort of have social anxiety issues, i think - nothing that can actually be termed "social anxiety", though, just your general "oh fuck do they really like me, are they just tolerating me" da de da sort of crap. it doesn't entirely bother me, because i got a permanent ego-boost in the form of katy and i know i'll always have my highschool mates to hang around with and they're just clones of me, really, so it's like... yeah.

i do sometimes wonder why i don't really pick up groups of friends. like, i can make individual friends pretty easy, it's just how i do shit i guess - but i can never really get in with a group unless i end up spending one-on-one time with every member. trivkids, for example - like i really don't feel like part of the group, even if i feel like i'm friends with miki and hannah and chris and whatever and it's fun enough hanging out with y'all, so i feel awkward about showing up and hanging out in a big group because it's like "i don't know half of you people and i don't want to crack jokes off you yet".

maybe if i had a better form of ice-breaking than insulting myself and then insulting other people it would work better. uh. ...still not changing


i still haven't finished dracula. this has honestly taken me months. this is not because it's boring - fuck the haters, i am a fan of epistolary novels - but because reading is so low on my list of priorities right now.


i am forever amazed by technology. see that subject line? i wanted to check if it was 'could', not 'would'. so i typed it in there, ctrl+a ctrl+c ctrl+t ctrl+v and there, google search confirms it. and that seems like a long process to me when i type it out. it's fucking nuts! I CAN GOOGLE SHIT ON MY PHONE. i was in writing your life the other week and i remembered a quote that i wanted to look up, so in the middle of a tute, i was able to pull out my phone, pull up google, look for "tis not too late to seek a newer world" and get the entire text of tennyson's ulysses. AN ENTIRE FUCKING POEM, THAT I HAD NEVER READ BEFORE, ON MY PHONE. IN UNDER FIVE MINUTES. JUST BECAUSE I WANTED TO CONFIRM A QUOTE.

even if we take it for granted that i knew the quote word-for-word, twenty years ago i would've had to find someone who knew poetry, quote that line to them, and hope they recognised it and could inform me as to the author and title, at which point i would have to go to a library and hunt it down, then copy it out and keep it somewhere for future reference. now i can just PULL OUT A PIECE OF METAL THAT'S SMALLER THAN MY HAND AND HAVE THE ENTIRE WORLD'S KNOWLEDGE AT MY FINGERTIPS.

twenty years ago, i would never have even heard of the word 'pyronecrobestiality'. now i can know the definition! read a comic about (trans)it! listen to a song about it! BUY A BIB BASED ON IT! ON THE SAME 9.5x5cm MACHINE THAT I CAN USE TO INSTANTLY CONTACT EVERYONE I KNOW.

ARE YOU NOT AMAZED BY THIS SHIT, GODDAMN


p.s. the reason i knew that quote beforehand was because i used it in this entry. seriously, click that link. four of the most awe-inspiring photos i have ever seen - not in terms of "holy shit that's cool" or "oh my god that's amazing", i mean, though. for me, they simply inspire the same reaction every time - stunned disbelief.

question: how long has this been my default icon? it seems like it's been way too long.

i should clarify that i so desperately want the below image as an avatar, but they're too far apart for it to properly work unless i crop, and then it looks like i'm shipping them



eta

have changed to this for now. criticisms, comments, anythings? i think it's still a little "oh wouldn't it be great if they had sex", but come on, how good are they

for the record, original pictures are

nick
and
tex

( What were you thinking about for lunch? )

--

I can't hear her over the music but I know her voice is beautiful anyway, throaty and self-assured and always echoing with the wisps of a smirk – veiled with irony so whenever the conversation goes somewhere she doesn't want to follow she can hide behind a wry slip and leave me to wonder just why she won't be pinned down.

--

( Hey, have you seen Benny's brother? )

Have you ever wanted to kiss someone but known you shouldn't because it would never work, I ask, and he just shakes his head no and keeps playing. This is unsurprising – self-control is not a word I associate with him – so I settle into the three a.m. sopor without comment. The party has wound down and our friends are inside talking and watching television but we are sitting here on his verandah because the weather is so comforting, too warm for early spring but sharp and clear, and he is languidly picking out a song that sounds thin and small in the country night.

This song is to me his song. He is twenty and there is so much that he has never done but he is still a tragedy to me, a man who more than any of the rest of us has become a caricature of himself. We are all to some extent acts, or at least characters – the angry one, the misanthrope, the nice guy, the near-insane – but this man is trapped in his, I think, and it will take an effort that none of us have for him to escape the alcoholism that we all see in him.

Sometimes I think this is why we work so well, why I feel so comfortable around him; we both expect nothing from each other and we both know who we are underneath and we both fit in some strange way around the other's personality.

I sink further into the deckchair and he starts singing huskily. The first time I heard this song it was him singing it:

the night before we had been drinking at a friend's house, tequila and vodka, and in the morning we woke to the summer heat and dragged ourselves outside for a cigarette. It was me him and the friend, my best friend and to him an unknown quantity, and me and my friend sat there as he started strumming out a song about guitars and alcohol and women and his own damn fault, and when I think about it later it always probably-inaccurately hits me as this profoundly tragic moment, a man at his lowest ebb thus far trying to sing about what his life had become but only able to use someone else's words

:and now it's no different.

His newest and oldest ex-girlfriend was here tonight, at his invitation – it is his house – and the distance between them now gnaws at me. They are both incredible people, I met her through him and she is a gorgeous sweetheart of a girl, and I know they will never work out together now they've given up on it (twice) but I still want them to be happy with each other.

For my part there are too many girls that I am thinking of, but I don't know what to say about them. They make me smile somehow because of my sheer melodrama regarding our history – I am only nineteen and coming up on my prime, I should not be allowed to linger on these things for as long as I do, but there are moments that I can't distract myself from: chances that I feel like I should have taken but know I chose right anyway.

I can see her naked beside me talking with her manic energy that always seems like she is making up for everything I have just lost and all I want to say is “I want to be with you”

I can see her sitting across the table from me and I'm saying “This isn't working, we're only hanging out as mates” and a year and a half later all I can think is that I never gave her a chance

I can see him leaving for his flight's gate without my number but I reason that surely he can somehow find me if he wants to

I can see her crying on my bed and I just want to tell her that I never want to see her again but instead I'm saying it's alright, we'll still be friends

I can see her in my arms and as she turns to walk to her car I want to pull her back and kiss her but we will always be better as we are and not as we could be

I am serially unsatisfied by my own decisions.

Beside me he finishes his song and lapses into silence and we sit in the darkness watching the people inside.

tex was (of course) friggin' awesome

met the inestimably lovely sjazzmreow, who is not small.

have acquired an incredibly fantastic scarf as made by the classeye ladeye jamethiel_bane, which i still haven't taken photos of but i swear i will get around to it eventually. it is seriously gorgeous.

uni continues!

the weather these past two days has been gorgeous. it's 29 degrees right now. going to drop back to ~18/19 for the rest of the week, i think, but i'm alright with that. these past two days have been amazing.

may have a semi-job as a "roving reporter" - i mean i've gotten an email saying i'm accepted and i'm going to a workshop, but it don't count until i've got something with my name on it and i've been paid for it, too. still tutoring, still feeling like a fraud for tutoring

i would write more about last night/this morning but right now i'm on four hours sleep so i'm just incredibly tired. suffice to say that the concert was everything i wanted it to be, it was a pleasure to meet concertbuddy, i actually enjoyed the hour's drive out into the arse-end of the suburbs for the gathering afterwards (i think technically it counted as the country by that point, won't lie), had a lot of fun with booze and guitars and singing at the top of my lungs, fell asleep at four and was woken up at 8 by two girls doing the walk of shame

and now i'm here. i mean, a lot happened in between, but it was just pointless fun.

one of the things that i've always found the most interesting in professional wrestling is their treatment of money in-universe.

( background irl info about money and wrestling )

now, in-universe, money is played completely differently.

( examples of money and characters )

NOW.

you may or may not remember "the million dollar man" ted dibiase. why was he the million dollar man? because he was rich before he started wrestling. did wrestling make him any richer? no. did it make him any poorer? no. did wrestling in fact have any effect on his finances? no.

and this is where it stands for most wrestlers. besides the occasional mention of the winner's purse during a match, unless money is directly related to their gimmick, it just doesn't come up. and in a lot of cases, this is for one very simple reason:

it wouldn't make any fucking sense.

the undertaker cannot die. he is a supernatural being with powers over lightning and rain, who brainwashes people to do his bidding, who is a legendary phenom. and what does he do? he wrestles, in matches, like everyone else.

kane is an unholy monster. he has power over fire, is supernaturally strong, likes torturing people with electrical clamps, and is the undertaker's half-brother. what does he do? he wrestles, in matches, like everyone else.

hornswoggle was a leprechaun, then vince mcmahon's bastard son, then finlay's son, and is now... well, presumably still finlay's son, but mainly just an irish midget. what does he do? he wrestles, in matches, like everyone else.

the hurricane, a superhero. isaac yankem, a dentist. irwin r. schyster, a former tax-collector. kizarny, a carny. what do they do? they wrestle, in matches, like everyone else.

this is fine, because it's a wrestling show. what else are they going to do? it just makes sense.

but the idea of them being paid to do it simply doesn't fit with their character. they're wrestling because it's simply what they do - they're a wrestling dentist or tax-collector or talk-show host. so in their matches, with their characters, money never comes up. it can't. they're not professional wrestlers, they're whatever they are who just happen to wrestle, so the concept of them being on a paid contract to wrestle doesn't work. (for the other ones who don't really have any "gimmick", who are just arrogant wrestler #4 or high-flying enthusiastic guy #2, this isn't as much of an issue.)

so you have, within the fictional universe of wrestling (kayfabe), this disparity between wrestlers who wrestle as a job and wrestlers who are there because... well, that's where they are. and then, on top of that, you have the back end of wrestling: the real money management, which has absolutely nothing to do with their on-screen character or titles or anything and is based on (largely) the same factors as sportsmen/stuntmen in real life, like popularity and skill and longevity and whatever.

and then, on top of this, you have 'retired' wrestlers - wrestlers who don't have a job on-screen, but still have jobs backstage. and sometimes these will get recognised, and sometimes they won't, and basically:

since the wrestling universe is completely fake, and tries to blend the real and the fantastic, which itself includes imagining a sort of fake 'real' backstage (a worked shoot) - professional wrestling just makes no fucking sense and when you watch wrestling, make sure to bring a healthy suspension of disbelief along with you, along with a preternatural tolerance for utter crap

that is all

i'm sick of september already, let's get along to october!

i'm stuck in the writing block again - i want to, and i have the words there, but i can't think of anything. i need a muse. maybe some young thing from my writing unit at uni will magically... um. muse me? magic it up? inspire me! that's the word i'm looking for, inspire

you know, on second thoughts, maybe it's best that i don't write anything right now. that was pretty horrendous.

the point remains, though.

oh my god, that reminds me - weirdest moment of friends territorialism

it's a firsty subject, right, so i think they're both first years, and they're like, must make friends at uni oh god don't want to be alone. and the point is - in the second week, i talked to this one girl, caitlin. (chloe? one of those.) and then in the third week, she wasn't there, so i ended up talking to someone else, melissa. and then in the fourth week -

i sit in the same seat i always sit in. no big deal. creature of habit! then melissa comes in, and she sits in the same seat she sat in last week - next to me. no big deal. then caitlin/chloe comes in, and she sits on the other side of me. and this is like, there's one other person in the tute room. and i'm sitting here all "...huh."

and then the tute goes on! and i swear to god, every time one of them said something to me, the other person would lean in to get in the conversation and add something. i know you'll all have had it happen to you, or done it (i have! multiple times. i'm a territorial person in some cases), but it was like... so utterly bizarre. the strangest point was when c/c said "oh man, you go for carlton? we can't be friends, i go for collingwood!" and melissa turns to me and goes "aw that's too bad! don't worry, i go for carlton" like it actually meant something?

and i'm thinking like "man either you guys need to learn to share or you have the least efficient way of making friends with someone with whom you have a mutual acquaintance ever."

i don't believe that i need to add this, but i will anyway: i would also jump both of their bones. the bones of both of them? they are cute, is my point, and this continued run of self-confidence - have i talked about that here? i should - has still got me going, "you do not need to be afraid of talking to attractive girls. that is in fact the least effective way of getting into a conversation with them. YOU ARE NOT BEING LOGICAL ABOUT THIS"

anyway my point is, fierce.

normally i would not post this, seeing as how it communicates an obvious self-absorption on my part (there is no way they are actually feeling territorial over me) and self-delusion as well as various other traits which are more or less obvious in my day-to-day dealings, but Writing Your Own Life is not only about writing your life but examining what your choices of what to put in/leave out actually communicates about you, so it's all HEY I'M GOING TO START SHARING IN MY LJ AGAIN

that's a lie, i'm going to go back to never posting/only posting junk entries

BUT WHAT IS IT THAT IS UP, CABRONS

i feel bad, it's like - i need to catch up with highschool crew more, i have not had a good pun-off with shaysdays for ages, i have had approximately zero contact with annemjw in foreverrrrr, miss sjazzmreow needs to reaffirm TEXMANIA '09 YESSSSSSSS (on that note OH MY GOD theage.com.au had a video of him reenacting the prison gigs and i nearly died), it has been an estimated infinity since i even said hi to cura_te_ipsum and overtherheynbow and tigerlilybella and everything, and oh my god everything keeps MOVIN' ON

if you feel ignored in that last paragraph you can suck it, because i either connect you with a group i mentioned in there already, feel like i have had enough contact with you or the community/group i associate you with recently (e.g. melbmaniacs), or i have completely forgotten who you are (who the fuck is vespas_desil)

so TALK or IGNORE or WHATEVER, it's no skin off my nose

RANDOM CAPS YESSSSSSSSSSSSSS

eta

I SHOULD PROBABLY ADD if you don't have me on facebook and/or twitter you're missing out, it is like this entry but 24/7. well not so much the facebook, there it tends to be in concentrated doses of utter frivolity and lighthearted frequently-obscene lexical cockknockery ("shitfuckery" got a compliment today!), but it is also at its heart the very distillment of my soul

eta 2: lady chetaley's lover

i feel like this entry needs to be closed with a clip from that "simpsons spin-off" clip show where they have the variety show, and someone (marge? lisa?) says "we're like this ALL THE TIME!"

trust me, if you've seen the clip, you know i'm making fun of myself

I HAVE MY JOURNAL TITLE FOR A REASON, PEOPLE

eta 3: i will gouge out your etaballs and skullfuck you

wow this entry got long. i won't cut it though, because... well screw you, i like the attention. :(

What you have to understand about Frankie is – he's my brother, man. He's a lot of other things, I ain't gonna deny it, but he's my brother, and he's been my brother since the day he was born, and he ain't gonna stop being my brother any time soon.

I understand that a lotta people think Frankie ain't no good. That's not right – Frankie's a good kid, I know it, Maria knows it, Ma knew it. He's made some shitty decisions, won't deny it, but he's still a good kid. He just ain't got the proper sense of what he's meant to do, and he ain't got the friends around to set him right. Been like that ever since Ma died.

( I guess I shoulda been around to help him out – but I was busy, man. )

NEW BLOG POST

and this time, it's actually mandatory for me to post in this blog at least once a week and it's marked, so it's not going to suck as much

still, you know, i' not making any promises.

love you guys

fuck me, it's august

uni started! maybe that had already happened last entry? i don't know. um, i went to a lecture. tutes start this week, though, so now i'm going to go to those! yesssss uni student, i am serious about this

house-sitting for madamenilef this week/this weekend coming, going to play her wii and beat her cat

just remembered i need to sms tute kid back about organising a new time for this week, fuck. --oh christ it's monday isn't it? i thought it was sunday. HOW. MY WEEKEND HAS BEEN OCCUPIED. goddamnit i am losing my shit through sheer inactivity

was recontacted on saturday by someone i didn't expect to talk to ever again (she of the closed door, for those of you keeping score at home). this makes a bemusingly spot-on mockery of that entry's content but whatever, it was technically over waaaay before that, there just hadn't been any confirmation of it, so it was on shaky factual ground to begin with

look it's sort of a long story and i've already been through the whole history once today and various parts of it at various points throughout the day and it turns out it is a massive tl;dr for what is essentially a very short story. i know, me being verbose about a situation which could be summarised succinctly and me making a wrong prediction, what fresh hell is this?

have basically been listening to nebraska on repeat, jesus christ

OH and i met _diamonddog and nekopan. they are both pretty small people

i swear to fuck it is not monday, it is either tuesday or sunday, someone is fucking with me


eta
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAH

just opened my bedroom door, walked in, and turned on the light

( click for the tensest truce in history )

YEEEAH STOP

BOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY STOP

HERE'S A REMINDER OF WHAT IT IS STOP

BECAUSE WE ARE NOT ACTUALLY SEEING HOMOSEXUAL INTERCOURSE BETWEEN TEX PERKINS AND THE CORPSE OF JOHNNY CASH STOP

THAT WOULD BE PRETTY SEVERE STOP

P.S. THIS IS PRETTY SEVERE...LY FUCKING AWESOME STOP