3771

IT'S COMING BACK

IT'S COMING BACK IT'S COMING BACK IT'S COMING BACK

IT'S COMING BACK

IT'S COMING BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACK

in the interests of openness and having nothing else to post about and being mid-reread of lords and ladies, i feel i should state that i have always seen the following two posters as, when they have eventually succumbed to the cruel ravages of time and if they hypothetically ever discover each other's company, the following people:

jamethiel_bane: granny weatherwax
shaysdays: nanny ogg

(the former may be slightly more of a hybrid of the two rather than solely esme. the latter, regardless of whatever she may actually be like, could never be anything but. it is possibly the whole saucy-drunken-banjo-player thing. possibly.)

i should also note that it has been this way ever since i first met you people.

i should also also note that i feel so weird singling you out, but fuck it, THIS IS MY JOURNAL AND I'LL DO WHAT I WANT. especially since i honestly don't see your personalities as entirely the same or anything, it's just the... it's the marbo. it's the vibe

i seriously have nothing else to say

oh yeah, i had a very nice dinner tonight. katy pan-fried some chicken and made some croutons and made me a caesar salad, and right now i'm having a smoothie that is solely made up of strawberries and soy icecream. it is delicious. have i mentioned how awesome this woman is?

See, here's the test. You go up to anybody. It doesn't matter who. Republican, Democrat, petty thief, file sharer, used car salesman, gym teacher. I don't care. Anybody. You go up to them and you say, "Hey. You heard about how that one company is putting Bible verses on U.S. military gear? I say that's good, because terrorists say allahu akbar or whatever before they suicide bomb. They started it." And then you watch them. Whoever it is, you watch them. And you're looking for one of three things.

The first thing is they look at you blankly. Just sort of dead in the eyes. Like you're an alien or something. Just one long buzzzzzzzz. Crickets, that sort of thing. You don't know if it's because they don't care or if it's because they're stupid. It doesn't matter. It's OK.

The second thing is that they roll their eyes. Or they blow a little breath out of their mouth. Or they make a sarcastic humph sound, or they shake their head, or they do any one of those other things that people do when you're saying something to them and they're secretly thinking that you're God's own template for idiots. That's OK, too.

The third thing is they start to nod. Maybe it's one of those slow nods, like a person who's the last one in the room to get a joke. Maybe it's a quick nod and some sort of huh yeah, that's right. Maybe they scratch their chin and look thoughtful, then nod. Maybe they point at you or something. Either way, they agree. That's the important thing, they agree. And when that happens, you've got one choice. You take that lead pipe you have behind your back, you grip it real tight, and you just smash 'em between the eyes. You don't let rabid dogs run wild through town, you don't let raccoons live in your trash can, and you sure as hell shouldn't let morons run loose through your world. Smash 'em between the eyes, and make the world a better place.

- Pocket Ninja, in reference to a Michigan company selling the U.S. weapons for use in Iraq and Afghanistan that are inscribed with secret Bible quotes

Rabbit got his name from his attitude towards women - not the "fuck 'em till they breed" attitude, mind you, that's pretty much the opposite of his feelings vis a vis procreative sexual intercourse. It's not really a rabbit's attitude towards women that he's got. It's more of a rabbit's general attitude towards life that Rabbit just happens to apply to women. Very self-preservation tactic sort of thing.

( You see, back when he was a kid, Rabbit used to deliver newspapers. )

Ever since then, Rabbit's had a bit of a thing about fights with women: stay completely bloody still, and if they start moving towards you, you run like the fucking blazes.

Alright, who would play what instruments in your LJ rock band? (You have to be one of them)

Your choices are:

Drummer: dominitus or maybe inflightdata 
Bassist: immute (even if she did delete her journal. also, she understands how i feel about bassists)
Lead guitar: 3771
Rhythm guitar: thingamabobby
Lead singer: 3771 (it's my livejournal band, i'm allowed to.)
Back-up singer: burninginfinite
"Offbeat" instrument (like accordion or bagpipes or something): flamingbentley , with hank_quinlan subbing in occasionally
Agent: i just realised i'm not friends with stuchbery. eclectic62442
PR person: madamenilef (GET IT?)
Roadie: jamethiel_bane , ably assisted by sofija_m and annemjw
Den mom (not really a mom, more like a roadie that makes sure everyone's doing okay): shaysdays
Groupie: aaaaalll the rest of you hangin' off our dicks for cash money

i'm a lot happier with how this turned out than yesterday's.





( For a beginning: in itch in the night - slight and fleeting. )


needs a bit of tightening, but for an hour's work i'm pretty proud.

( the prompt )

12 Happenings in interval between preliminary sound and striking of clock—ending—

“it was the tones of the clock striking three”. [x]



(From the notes of H----- M-----, inmate of Arkham Sanitarium.)

Was on Dartmoor Street. Bells at top of village began to chime three o'clock and as I turned the air turned thick and bitter to taste and I felt faint. Turned again to see mist - thin and fading - then nothing but gray that became biting cold dark. There was a high sound - like that of flutes? -, curled and muffled as it seeped through the darkness but finally whining and stinging and sharp as it reached my ears and then drums I could not hear but knew, the steady beating now - now - now as a heartbeat but all around and a feeling as if my own heart were moved by it and then the beat broke into a brewing chaos and my heart with it and I stumbled and saw --

flutes and drums dancers and dark and time and a blight shadow --

but the shadow was beyond darkness and beyond time and kneeling I stared and felt the shadow blind and dumb but still in the shapeless mass moving and the pipes squealed and the silent drums echoed louder and louder and he is waking he is waking the chaos is waking








----

i find it so, so hard to write horror of any sort. ugh. may just go on a different angle from here on

especially since it's hard to justify why his writing was lucid to begin with and then degenerated? but i can't really handle the impersonal report-style either, i've never gotten the hang of it. i guess you just have to accept that as he immersed himself more in the memories he got more and more affected or something, i don't know

this year, i will undertake a not entirely original and somewhat difficult resolution:

i will write something corresponding to every single entry in hp lovecraft's commonplace book. not in order.

considering i don't write horror, this is going to be amazing.

starting tomorrow, of course.

"Well, Robert - can I call you Bob?"

"I'd rather Robert."

( Good to hear, Bob. )




i won't lie, i was reading the penny arcade archives and i was reminded of how much i love their office hypotheticals. the innuendo just sort of crept in.

"Fact: all the best band names have the word 'and' somewhere in there."

( Fact, I wasn't aware of this. Second fact, how did you manage to say a colon? )



eta
i'm going back through the dialogue tag and reading this and oh my god i'm making myself laugh. i'm such a fucking dork, but:

“You just... you couldn't be more wrong, alright. Look at it like that. Actually – see this sugar? Alright, the sugar is here. The sugar is being right. Now, an acceptable wrong – a wrong that's like, sure, you're wrong, but I can deal with it – that's somewhere around my coffee. Your wrong is over near her orange juice.”

“Huh? Whose orange juice?”

“Uh, look to the le-- your right. Over there.” He jabbed at the air with his knife in the vague direction of the juice in question, sitting on a neighbouring table. “The point is, you could be more wrong, but uh, you'd really have to try for it. I'm impressed by how wrong you are. You, my friend, are the Isaac Newton of wrong. You - you discovered the Law of Wrongativity.”

“The law of wro-- relativity was Einstein, you dick.”

“Yeah - see? That's how wrong you are. You can't even discover the right laws of wrong, you're so far off.”

is killing me.

fandom: discworld
characters: death, death of rats, no-as-big-as-medium-sized-jock-but-bigger-than-wee-jock jock
length: 900 words

"I'm too young to die!"

( Death considered this. )

this video is exactly what it should be.

i really have nothing else to say.

oh my fuck

so on the way in tonight, me and katy sat in a four-seater (2x2) on the train. there was one other person, an old guy who just sat around reading the paper. we were our usual ebullient selves, and he actually chimed in at one point, which i tried not to find fucking hilarious (and failed, since he was talking about that belgian guy who was conscious in a coma for 23 years and suggested that at least he hadn't been buried alive)

then i got to taco bill's and partook in beers and a fishbowl margarita with the people who know who they are and, i shit you not, a dutch cameron diaz. JFC.

train home - guess who comes down the elevator, notices me, and goes "oh you're still here?"

fucking amazing!

we started chatting (on the platform and on the train) and holy shit, coolest 70-year-old i have ever met. he's american - from california - but moved out here in 1982 (to cockatoo, out in the country). talking about how back in the 80s he used to go by the phrase "if you can't beat them, buy them" - he'd bribe all the young gangs in his area because he had the first colour set in the neighbourhood and they'd come and sit around watching tv with popcorn and he wouldn't have to deal with their shit.

apparently once he went outside to find a "pot garden" that he wasn't aware had been planted, and it had been one of the kids. he had a talk with the kid. every so often the kid visits vic (because he's working in wa) and drops 'round and repairs shit that needs to be repaired.

he got a sapphire earring when he went back to the states seven years ago, but he's scared of needles so he had to have one of his sister's friends hold his hand while it went in.

he's seen bowie seven times.

he saw tina turner a while ago, and apparently his friend "is a leg man", so he didn't get to use the binoculars all night.

he has a, and i quote, "bitching sound system" in his car that he shelled out 8400 for. two subbies in the back of his two-door 1995 lancer, two speakers under the seats, can't be powered with a regular battery because it dies so quickly.

once saw ac/dc under duress, and came out a massive fan because they put on a hell of a show.

really didn't like the opera he saw tonight, because he couldn't feel anything for the three main characters.

watched cats once when it came out, then four times on video, and the fifth time he went "oh wow, that's a cute kitten" and finally liked it.

saw lady macbeth, but it was "bluer than blue" - "if they weren't fuckin' they were jackin' off"

agreed when i said he was a dirty old man

HERE'S TO YOU, TRAIN GUY, YOU MADE THIS NIGHT KICK A LOT OF ASS

also on the train:

i think his name was bert? he wanted someone to open his salami packet, except he could only communicate this by gesturing the packet at people because his speech skills were clearly not at a fully-mentally-able level, and finally someone picked up on the idea and opened it for him so he could have a salada sandwich with his salami. then he got off the train. good man.

these two drunk kids (i think one was still in his highschool uniform, which was fucking gold) trying to talk about communism and anarchism with a 22-year-old guy who had at least twelve piercings above his neck. two on each eyebrow, both snakebites, labret, three down his nose, both nostrils, like a fucking 30mm spacer in both his ears, and about three on the top of each ear. jfc he was metallic and a half

all i'm saying is, goddamn funny night

and damned if stories have to have a point, either

( It wasn't getting better. He felt the same. )

still alive

post-uni, life is at its typical standstill, which is why there's nothing to report

made goals! (barely!) 201 situps, 100 pushups. then i collapsed. still a few weeks away from 5km, although i did manage 4.2km in 25 minutes, so i'm pretty happy with that. did approximately zero exercise last week, so it was a nice surprise to see i hadn't stalled or anything, but really need to make sure i don't fall off completely

i... um. what else is there

i don't know

We see this all the time. Journalists, rushing to get a story out under deadline pressure, will report, based on preliminary information, that a ship sank, and 127 people, many of them elderly, perished. Then, upon further investigation, it turns out that nobody, in fact, perished, although one elderly person was slightly injured by a set of dentures hurled by another elderly person in an effort to get the first elderly person to stop talking so loud. Then it turns out that this happened at a nursing home, as opposed to a ship, although the elderly people were watching a video of Titanic at the time, and although there were only four of them, as opposed to 127, the nursing home is located on Route 124, which is only three less than 127, which is not that much of an error when you consider the deadline pressure that journalists operate under.

- Dave Barry

life continues


it is spring! the shadecloths have been strung up. one of these statements depends on the other one, guess which is which


uni is almost over! hooray. i have three assignments left - one is done, one is going to be a red bull-fuelled all-night writing session, and the other one... i'm procrastinating on pre-emptively. ugh. it's a research proposal, and i want it do die and never bother me.


in terms of health, i'm feeling... i guess better? it's hard for me to tell the difference, because i'm terrible at knowing what i'm like now relative to what i used to be like - in any situation, i mean, not just general wellbeing. when i'm sick i don't remember what it was like to be well, when i'm well i don't remember what it's like to be sick, etc. i don't know. it just doesn't seem to be something i pick up on that well. but like, right now, i'm feeling pretty good. sometimes i feel like i'm not getting enough sleep, but that's got to do with length of time spent sleeping and not the quality, so that's not a big deal. i'm taking vitamins so i don't miss out on anything, drinking juice, quit smoking for five weeks now, having proper lunches at least four or five days a week...

i still drink and eat takeaway, of course. i'm not going for pristine or anything. but i am finding that my tastes are sort of shifting? still really enjoy kfc, and the choices aren't necessarily healthier, so don't go thinking they're improving. but like, i prefer to eat burgers from burger joints/fish and chip shops and not mcdonald's, getting a real taste for noodles/chinese takeaway in general... keep finding myself with weird cravings for muesli, too. which is strange.

progress report, end of week four, with three weeks to go until my birthday (zero --> after two weeks --> now):

11 --> 50 --> 102 consecutive situps
25 --> 43 --> 61 consecutive pushups

i am definitely fitter - today i did d1w5 of c25km, which is 5 minutes of jogging (=850 metres), then 3 minutes of walking (=350 metres), &5&3&5. i know this isn't really much, especially considering the walking periods in between, but the weekend before i started this, i ran 100m for a train with mates and couldn't speak for 30 seconds because i was panting too hard (took me a lot longer to fully catch my breath, but i really felt like talking). so i know i'm improving.


i'm single again. this may come as news to some of you, possibly because you didn't know i wasn't single, but there you are. beginning to very strongly suspect i'm just really averse to being locked in to anything right now? i don't know. i really like katy and there's honestly no reason for me to not want to be with her other than... yeah. i think i'm just worried that while i'm committed to something with someone, i'll miss out on an opportunity with someone else? which i understand is going to be true for the rest of my life, and is true no matter what i do or whether i'm with someone or not, but right now i just want to have the freedom, i guess. ugh. idfk. watch my change my tune the next time someone offers me a shot


still unemployed~ i mean, apart from the tutoring and writing for youthcentral. tutoring will end over summer, so i'll need to find something else for that, but hopefully i can take on three or four kids next year and really increase the money coming in that way.


i honestly don't have anything interesting to say, which is going to come as a disappointment if you've read this far, but... yes

i don't know if any of you haven't seen this - it's been around for a while and you're all pretty clued-in cats and kittens. but the song came up on my itunes just before and i was like, gotta share this. so if you haven't, you absolutely must!



(related: ziggy-era bowie, ashes to ashes-era bowie.)

http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=ASP-COWBOMB&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - love the bomb
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QC-DECISIONS&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - bad decisions
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=RB-BANDIT&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - raptor bandit
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=WN-APEKING&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - ape king on a mastodon
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=LG-IPRETEND&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - i pretend to work
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=QW-SUMMERVACATIONSHIRT&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - t-rex's summer vacation
http://www.topatoco.com/merchant.mvc?Screen=PROD&Store_Code=TO&Product_Code=LG-SOFTROOPER&Category_Code=ALLSHIRTS - stormtrooper

this is a list for my own personal reference. and i'm sharing it with you. i am a sharing man

that being said, if anyone feels like buying me a birthday present, go right ahead, okay. i'm a medium. ...i think. ...i'm sure as hell not a large, let's just leave it at that

(i already own this, this and this)